I've noticed that in my writing, my characters do a lot of smiling. A. LOT. Okay, you may think. That's not a bad thing, is it? Smiling is good for the soul.
Yes. That's true.
Unless every page has someone smiling, or grinning, or they smile...
As in - Jane smiled at Bobby's joke.
Next page: Bobby grinned while Jane grabbed the rolling pencil.
Next page: Susan's lips curled into a smile wider than the English Channel.
I just went through the 109 pages of Untouchable (still a work in progress) and reduced the "smiles" from 100 to 33. How does one do that? Let me show you:
Before: Her mother forces a smile as she tells me now is not a good time.
After: Her mother’s face draws tight, almost pinched as she tells me now is not a good time.
Which way do you prefer? I feel like the "after" gives you a better feel for the look on the mother's face, don't you?
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